Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Life is a Fishtail...

Have you ever braided your hair into a fishtail?  I love the look and I love how easy it is, but it looks super intricate!  No worries, this is not a fashion blog...but I'm setting the stage. So you start braiding, and you've got your hair super slick and you're pulling tight and trying to get everything exactly the way it should be...can't mess up!  And inevitably, no matter how hard you try, it happens.  The little pieces...they begin to break out of perfection to freedom.

I grew up in the 90's and really started to care about looks in the early 2000's...and let me tell you, the whole messy bun was not in.  NO BUMPS was in...ask my mom.  There were combs, products, and multiple attempts to get the perfect pony tail with NO BUMPS.  Bumps meant we started over....which meant frustration and many broken hair ties. One time, no lie, I had finally gotten it perfect, but I realized I had left a thin piece of hair out of the pony tail.  My friend was so tired of my many attempts that she told me the piece of hair was literally a wispy and it would be easier if I just cut it. And yes, you guessed it, 13 year old me, cut a piece of hair to my scalp just so I wouldn't have to redo the pony tail that had NO BUMPS.

Unfortunately, I live my life like this too...the whole messy bun never caught on.  Although I'll rock a messy bun at home, I can't live a messy bun lifestyle.  I still wake up screaming NO BUMPS.  See, those bumps make me anxious. Bumps make me vulnerable and I don't want anyone else to see those bumps.  But, unfortunately, making sure my life has NO BUMPS tends to make me extremely critical of myself and I am my own worst critic. I also find it makes me extremely rational.  Now don't get me wrong, rational is safe and reasonable, but I don't want to live my life so safe that I miss out on amazing moments. I also find that NO BUMPS means you are a people the extreme.  Sometimes, you will do something that doesn't please you just to please someone else.  Messy buns mean that sometimes people are disappointed in you, don't agree with your decisions, or (gasp) don't like you.

Now, back to the fishtail (I bet you were wondering right!?!?). Life to me is a fishtail braid. Plain and simple.  All I want in life is NO BUMPS....but guess what....God said HAHAHA. That's right I start out braiding, praying, spraying, pulling tight....NO BUMPS, NO BUMPS, NO BUMPS.  And no matter what....even if they aren't full fledged life altering bumps...those little hairs start popping up.  That's life ya know? Totally out of my control.  I learn a little more everyday how to rock the fly aways, the small bumps, and the mess...

But, it ain't easy.